Friday, 19 June 2015

Feminism

Feminists and scholars have divided the movement's history into three "waves". The first wave refers mainly to women's movements of the nineteenth century, mainly concerned with women's right to vote. The second wave had women campaigning for legal and social rights. The third wave refers to a continuation of, and a reaction to the perceived failures of, second-wave feminism.

First-wave feminism focused on the promotion of equal contract and property rights for women and the opposition to marriage and ownership of married women by their husbands. However, by the end of the nineteenth century, activism focused primarily on gaining political power.

 Second-wave feminists saw women's cultural and political inequalities as intimately linked and encouraged women to understand aspects of their personal lives as deeply politicized and as reflecting sexist power structures.
Third-wave feminism also contains debates between different feminists who believes that there are important differences between the sexes and those who believe that there are no intrinsic differences between the sexes and contend that gender roles are due to social taming.

The women that believe and practice feminism have two ways of promulgating their views, the one who desire equality and the other who radically fight for gender based privileges. They're the kind to which one would refer to as feminazi and they're the same kind who use their gender to get impunity against the law while hollering that they're empowered. There is a very small minority of radical feminists that may or may not want female supremacy, but these particular feminists are small in number and do not represent third wave feminism as a whole. 

For the most part, radical feminists are those that are pro-active and do most of the protesting, marches, etc. Not all feminists can go up against patriarchy and male oppression like radical feminists can. Feminism might be taking form of a revolution, considering the agitation out there regarding the recent injustice against women.  

Sexism restricts roles for men as well as women. But while sexism impacts women more negatively than men, it also affects individual women to differing degrees. Some women adopt sexist beliefs and submissive behaviours to a greater extent than others and do not/cannot embrace feminism.

Sexism negatively impacts men by forcing them into a hyper-masculinity which engages high-risk behaviour and limits their emotional expression. However, regardless of these and other secondary effects of sexism, men still benefit from patriarchy (the social system of sexism) whether or not they choose to fight sexism in others or themselves. So if men cannot be feminists how can we be a part of a feminist agency? Does feminism address only women or doesn’t it also address men in some way? Perhaps men need to be “menists,” supporting women in their feminist work while allowing feminism to work on them, challenging themselves and other men to end patriarchy.

Another way to make an immediate impact is to be an example. Act in accordance with your values; treat people equally as individuals; acknowledge the plethora of problems women still struggle with. It's easy to join in with the "boys will be boys" chatter about women and sex. You can still participate, but be a leader and change the tone of the conversation.

 Gender discrimination continues to be an enormous problem within Indian society. Traditional patriarchal norms have relegated women to secondary status within the household and workplace. This drastically affects women's health, financial status, education, and political involvement. Additionally, only 54 percent of Indian women are literate as compared to 76 percent of men. Women receive little schooling, and suffer from unfair and biased inheritance and divorce laws.

 As an example - For many men in Rajasthan, migration is required since rural parts of Rajasthan often lack a sufficient economy to provide income for a family year-round. Women are commonly left behind to care and provide for the entire household. This is increasingly difficult because it is estimated that an average woman's wage is 30 percent lower than a man's wage working in a similar position. While these mothers work, they must also tend to domestic responsibilities. This formula for supporting Rajasthani families leaves little resource for the growth and development of women’s rights and education levels.

Although socially women have been at a disadvantage, Indian laws highly favour women. If a husband commits adultery he will be jailed, but a woman cannot be jailed for adultery and neither will she be punished by the courts. There is no recognition of sexual molestation of men and rarely the police stations lodge a First Information Report (FIR); men are considered the culprit by default even if it was the woman that committed sexual abuse against men. Women can jail husband's family for dowry related cases by just filing an FIR. 

After decades of antidiscrimination laws, diversity initiatives and feminist advocacy, such data leads to an uncomfortable question: Do women actually want equality? The answer seems transparently, blindingly, obvious.

But from another perspective, the answer is anything but clear. In fact, there’s good reason to think that women don’t want the sort of equality envisioned by government bureaucrats, academics and many feminist advocates, one imagined strictly by the numbers with the goal of a 50-50 breakdown of men and women in C-suites, law-school dean offices, editorial boards and computer-science departments; equal earnings, equal work hours, equal assets, equal time changing diapers and doing the laundry. “A truly equal world,” Sheryl Sandberg wrote in Lean In,   “would be one where women ran half our countries and companies and men ran half our homes.” It’s a vision of progress that can only be calculated through the spreadsheets of labour economists, demographers and activist groups.

We fail to consider differences in medical specialty or type of workplace, that appearance may well be an illusion. Surgeons and cardiologists, who have long been in the ranks of the top-earning specialties, remain predominantly male. Meanwhile, as women flood the profession, they disproportionately choose to become psychiatrists and paediatricians, specialties that have always been among the least lucrative.
When you see a car broken down, do you see the woman get out of the car in the snow to fix it? No, you see the man. When a ship is going down, women and children get off first. Why not the men? While women want equality, they also still desire to be pampered by men. So how does that work? They want “men’s” jobs, want "men’s" responsibilities, yet they still expect to have everything done for them and be waited on hand and foot.

We rightly believe whoever is the most qualified for any given task, should get it. Whether it is man, woman, black, white, native, Asian, African, whatever the case may be. We believe that everyone should be treated equally. In a majority of cases where people complain about not being treated equally, they expect to be treated better than equally. They want special treatment while claiming it is equality. 

If women want "the man's job”, they should start doing everything else that men are naturally required to do. Don't take my job as the manager of the company, but expect me to lift the heavy box of stuff in your office. If they want equality, they should do it themselves.

Women desire all that is provided to men, but still expect to be treated better than men. 

When women become more successful than their husbands, it hurts the male ego and this takes a toll on their marriage. The problem solely lies in the fact that men are not accustomed to staying with women who are professionally more superior to them.

So, do husbands of flourishing women cheat because they cannot tolerate the fact that their wives receive more accolades than them? Or does the male ego find it hard to believe that their wives are actually doing better than them? Men often tend to get threatened when their wives earn more than them, and that's why they prefer they stay at home. Men often look out for women who can spend quality time at home and take care of the kids. Men prefer women with 'safe professions’ such as that of a teacher or a librarian, or those with fixed working hours.

 Though there are many men who find successful women intimidating, there are some who are very supportive of the fact that their wives are earning and doing well in their lives.

 Minoti Panda, a 36-year-old advertising professional says, "My husband and I often have arguments on how I should stay back at home to look after my five-year-old daughter. I keep telling him that she is grown up enough to complete her homework and be on her own until we get back in the evening, but he does not seem to understand the fact." Men often tend to get threatened when their wives earn more than them, and that's why they prefer they stay at home.

 Men who participated in a psychological experiment weren’t even aware that their self-esteem was affected by their partners’ performance. A man struggling on an unconscious level with a partner’s success might suddenly act out — distancing himself from his partner, becoming slow to return phone calls or being less attentive.

The study involved five experiments in which a total of 896 men and women participated. In one, a person was told that his or her romantic partner had scored in either the top 12 percent or the bottom 12 percent in a problem-solving test; then, the person’s self-esteem, both explicit and implicit, was measured. In the other experiments, participants were asked to write about social or intellectual situations in which a partner had succeeded or failed. While all participants expressed positive feelings about a partner’s success, the researchers determined that on a more subtle level, a man’s self-esteem actually fell after he acknowledged that his partner had done well.

Traditionally, men have been expected to take the lead in a relationship, especially financially, and to be the front-runner, said Aaron Rochlen, a professor who studies the psychology of men and masculinity at the University of Texas at Austin.
But increasingly, men are no longer the financial leaders in their relationships. This may not prove to be, as author Hanna Rosin calls it, “The End of Men,” but Rochlen said that among married heterosexual couples, more women are out-earning their partners than ever. In dual-income families, 28 percent of American wives earn more than their husbands, according to Bureau of Labor Statistics data. Many men struggle with that reality, even though they may not admit it
Although a lot of families now realize it is important for the woman to work too, even today, there are several limitations a woman encounters, while balancing a career pursuit with family expectations. For instance, it is always presumed that, with a marriage of a guy and girl from different locations, a girl would inevitably give up her existing job and move in with the guy to his city, and later look for a new job. This is true even in cities and in the case of highly educated families or women. The girl always gives up the job. The guy doesn't. (This also works conveniently in most cases, given that the setup makes sure, the girl always earns lesser and has a relatively inferior career to the guy even before the marriage is arranged, and hence her career is relatively easier to disturb).


A lot of women also give up their jobs at childbirth for an year or two, to completely focus on the child's upbringing. They might later, look for a job again. Some never get back. Quite a few prefer otherwise too, but again, a lot of them feel it is very important for them to give up their jobs at least temporarily, to be able to raise their child properly. Some unwillingly, and some sportily, have given up to the classic expectations of a woman's role in the Indian family.

In families that cannot afford a cook, the woman mostly does all the cooking every day, and this means that, she has to have a fixed work schedule and spare enough time at home to attend to such needs. A man can get home late, not the woman.

In summary, women are beginning to take up work, more and more owing to financial pressures and improved access to education and employment opportunities, but in spirit, the Indian setup still leans chauvinistically towards having the woman sacrificing on her career and attending to the household needs. And, even in families with the more culturally independent and well-educated women, usually the woman sacrifices more of her career and takes the slow path with her needs/pressures to attend to the family, while the man can stay completely focused on his career.




Can I just say that it has been raining elephants incessantly. All schools in  the city were shut except a few and unfortunately one of them was mine. Many of my friends didn’t go cause they had the liberty  to but I went. Not cause I had to but because I love going to.

So this month, my school is holding a MUN called the Annual World Summit and I am the head of Press Corps. This means staying back in school for long hours and working hours on end on articles and publications. Ms.x and I hardly talk, apart from the bad blood we have grudges but over time I believe we shall let go of them. We talk in a civic manner and that is all I have to say.

I have a very ‘punny’ sense of humour and that is known by one and all. Like in the committee info for the press issue of the MUN, one guy had written that he had a soft spot for our PM, Narendra Modi..and I heard it as he had a g-spot for our PM..which is funny as fuck.

This is one time of the year when the weather inspires me more than the people around me. The rains have got the best darkness. 

Wednesday, 3 June 2015

My life..getting slower by the minute..no I’m not dying but it feels so. My internship got over 2 days ago and Ms.x reached Mumbai today. I have so much shit to sort with her. My mom is busy..so is my dad..both have jobs and I have nothing to live for..I sound so desperate..right..but Im just dying for school to start…it starts next week and all the friends come together.to create new memories or fights..whatever!!

Thursday, 28 May 2015

who am i

Like seriously, I haven blogged since days..well mostly because my life is getting really really bland..after losing love ..one always feels bloody lonely..but since I’m the unemotional one getting over should’ve been easy..sadly it wasn’t…Like she still texts me and I give off ego…but theres more to my life than my past…every morning..I wake up..run to my books and write answers fro two of Shakespeare’s extracts and then I leave for my internship..I come home in the evening and hit the gym…From there I come back home and do math/accounts…This routine of mine has been going on for days on end..like Im so bored these days..my mom is the biggest promise breaker..she has all these dinner parties and shit…and she promises to take me shopping but fuck..she says that she has no mood or time..I’m so frustrated…like theres nothing in my life..I for one who is a workaholic..I’m stupid as fuck..Today I got a chance to go shopping as the magazine where I’m interning at gave a holiday..but I chose to spend the fucking day studying…I’M so stupid.

I always make myself busier…what is wrong with me..anyways…Castle and Instagram are the only sources of entertainment I’ve got around me. No Nutella for a month..can you believe it..my mother wants me to lose weight and so she stopped getting nutella…hence I’ve gotten into depression..

Wednesday, 20 May 2015

So yeah,, guys life is simple..but Ms.x is a regular..lately I feel that she has been messing my life a lot, even though she is a thousand miles away in Wales. There is a lot of negativity, apparently her friends I’m a fuckboy!! She most probably told them that I stay for the physical part of the relationship and leave when I have to.
Only a moron would say that she wasn’t calling me a fuckboy. Anyway, she also told my closest friends that same and they told me about this.
She is now ruining their life by saying that they betrayed her trust by telling me and blah blah blah.
My parents are having fun in South India.. going on jungle safaris, watching leopards and all that. I have to deal with teenage infatuation and getting away with it. Why is it that it took me so long to realise that it was never love or it could have become love but it couldn’t. Love is such an amazing feeling and I only had it for a moment and in a blink it turned out to be a storm.
Ms.x told me that she would like to be best friends with me if there is nothing more than that. I told her that best friends don’t go talking shit about each other behind their backs. She told me that I am too gullible because I listened to my best friend who told me whats what. She also showed my angry side to our friends and thanks to her, I get messages from my friends saying .. “ please stop being mean to ms.x, she os sad and irritated, don’t be rude and all” They give all that their counselling self tell them to without even knowing the context and the basis of my behaviour.

WHAT THE FUCK, I’m really annoyed with her and her justifications. I wish I find a girl who, when hugs me with love, makes tears flow from my eyes!
Is this just fiction or can this happen?

Saturday, 16 May 2015

Hey readers..I’m hardly able to open my eyes while typing this and not make a single typo in a sentence cause I’m sleepy as fuck.
Yesterday was the really exhaustive..I mean literally. My friends and I had already decided to go for the Indian Premier League Cricket match at Brabourne stadium and its May and its Mumbai so there is still as a rock and the humid is beyond description..I was sweating like a pig but the match..It was amazing and more so because I got to witness it live. Seeing a cricket match live is a different experience in itself..millions of people crammed like sardines..jeering at the players and going into a wicked frenzy when the camera faces them. The feeling is overwhelming, its kind of a festival over here. The people were yelling the names of all cricketers and blowing into vuvuzelas the entire match creating a loud symphony. And yes I’m aware of the oxymoron!



The entry into the stadium, this was when the match had already started, Mumbaikars don’t like lines and they have to face endless quest they cuss and they cuss a lot!!



A GLIMPSE





 and then the main part comes up, I also had a sleepover that day so yeah…I was up the whole night also one of my friends was supposed to turn up and my friends had made a lot of adjustments for him,but then he bailed on us at the last minute so yeah I got pissed. He was and is sorry and all but he has done this before. Later i got to know it was his mom who told him not to go and he couldn’t say a word. It seemed like he had taken everyones time and efforts for granted and all last minute he had backed out. That is just blatant disrespect, isn’t it? Everyone was very sad because this was the last time us friends could meet up properly cause our 12th grade stands to commence and we will surely not have time to give. 

Here are some more pics from the day and the week!


My nerdy friend who is sleepy as hell

she barely can open her eyes!!

Friday, 15 May 2015

Good morning readers , hows your weekend going..My days are going pretty mundane I hope today is great because I’m going to see the IPL cricket match with friends and a sleepover with another group of friends..so I’m gonna have a blast today. Plus mom and dad are enjoying cause they went down south on a holiday, so the house is empty. Of course my younger brother and grandma are gonna be there but just saying.

So I’m talking to Ms.X, she is saying that she is in Cornwall and she has rented a spooky cottage which is centuries old. So she is telling me that yesterday night when she was sleeping with her parents in one of the rooms, she experienced the clichè house horror. The noise from the cupboard and the flying of the curtains and the weird screeches.

I of course scared her even more by telling her that there might have been so many deaths in that cottage and she started yelling and all and her relatives there are also trying to scare her and LOL I’m so so enjoying this.



So life is pretty normal… I hope my days go smooth without my parents around
!!


India from a foreigner’s eye

Traveller and blogger Lucy Hemmings traveled across the world before settling in Mumbai, India. She has spent some very eventful years in India, but not every experience has been pleasant. In a blog post shared on her blog, the 26-year-old talks about being masturbated at in an local bus, and how expats can be safe in the country. 

“A few days ago I was sitting in a bus stop in Mumbai, India. The local guy that I had paid no particular attention to moved closer. 

From the corner of my eye, to my horror, I realised that he had pulled out his penis and was masturbating, staring intently at me. I felt sick.

As much as I hate to admit it, this isn’t the first time it’s happened to me. In fact, chances are, if you’ve ever been to India, you’ll have bumped into at least one traveller who has experienced this sort of behaviour, or heard of someone else who it has happened to. I’ve spent countless hours with other travellers picking apart the men who do it; why they seem to think its okay, why dignity seems to disappear when there’s foreign female flesh on show.
The first time this happened to me was back in 2012; I was 23 and it was my first trip to a developing country. Along the way, I’d met an Australian girl, Gemma, and we ended up spending three months or so travelling India together. At the time, we were wandering through Maharishi Mahesh Yogi Ashram (Or “The Beatles Ashram”) in the northern town of Rishikesh, when I spotted a man, hiding in the bushes watching us and masturbating.
My horror quickly turned to hysterical laughter; Gemma and I screamed profanities, laughed and pointed. Laughing empowered me; I felt we sent a very clear message that we weren’t intimidated by him and that we thought he was pathetic. It was because of this that the next time a man masturbated in front of me (I was travelling alone at this point and in a train station) I felt perfectly comfortable laughing as loudly as I could, catching the attention of every person in that station, screaming;

“Look at this disgusting man! With his tiny penis out! How embarrassing!”

The man skulked off, I laughed for a while and that was it, I spent no more time thinking about it. Fast forward three years and to the man a few days ago. I’m not entirely sure why I felt so different, and why this time affected me so much. Obviously I’m a few years older and an ounce or so more careful, but I still feel like I’m the same free-spirited and optimistic person, why was this experience so difficult for me?
For days afterwards, I was nervous walking anywhere on my own, I stopped making eye contact at anyone in the street and I started carrying a pocket knife. I only ate in busy restaurants, sitting near families with children and I stopped smiling at any men, even the familiar faces of men who ran the guesthouse I was staying in.

After much, much deliberation and analysis of my own feelings, I realised I was angry for three reasons.

1. This man took away my freedom.

I LOVE that I’m a yes girl. I love that if an opportunity comes my way, then rarely do I think through the reasons why I shouldn’t; I say yes and I pack my bags. I follow my heart but I listen to my head.
I love that I have so many stories that start with “Well, I got talking with this guy in a restaurant … and next we’re exploring an abandoned village!” or “Yeah, I met this couple … and next thing you know, I’m dancing in their wedding!” (Both true stories).
My adventurous and curious nature is something I hold so dearly as a part of who I am, but I felt like this disgusting, pervert of a man had snatched it away from me. For the three days following that experience, I have very little to talk about. I kept myself to myself and questioned decisions I had made in the past. Was I stupid to have taken what I would now call a risk?

2. He made me question whether I was right to defend India throughout the rape trials. And India in general, actually.

Throughout the widely publicised Delhi bus rape case, I felt like my love for India was constantly being tested. People in my local town who knew nothing more about India than what a chicken korma tastes like made scathing comments on what a filthy country it is and how wrong Indian culture is.
On a normal day, I am totally besotted with India; I’m so willing to talk of the endless reasons why India is without a doubt my favourite country to travel and I’ve recurrently made it my mission to convince others that they should travel there too.
Throughout the trial, I devoted ludicrous amounts of time explaining to idiots who frequented the bar I was working in why they were wrong and why this news story was only one minuscule aspect of life in India.
I was beginning to question these original feelings and wondering if the ‘minuscule’ aspect was in fact far more serious and prevalent than I had recently observed through my rose-tinted glasses.

3. I was playing by India’s rules — why wasn’t India playing back?

Throughout the day here in India, I cover myself completely. I usually dress in Indian clothes; a salwar kameez (a type of long tunic and loose trousers) even when it is swelteringly hot. I look at men wearing shorts with envy and wish I could put on my hotpants and bikini top.
On the rare occasion an opportunity to swim presents itself, I still wear long trousers and a long shirt, despite the fact that wearing clothes makes doing handstands really difficult (!) (Except of course in Goa, the Magaluf of India).

I was once in Amritsar, a city in the north of India to see The Golden Temple, the holiest place on earth for Sikhs, when an American girl walked past me in hotpants. I felt so cross that this girl was disobeying India’s customs.

Anyway, my point is that I make a huge effort to fit in with Indian traditions when I’m here. Is it too much to ask for this man to wait 20 minutes until he’s home to do what he did?
I decided to put some feelers out for other people with similar experiences. I put up a message on a travel blogging community I belong to, asking if people had ever had comparable encounters. When I logged in the next day, I was horrified to see that it was happening to people every day.
One girl’s experience stood out the most to me; she was repeatedly groped during Holi festival in Varanasi, India and had learned that this type of harassment actually has a name — Eve Teasing. Yes, Eve as in Adam and Eve, referring to the ‘temptress nature of Eve’, and disturbingly placing responsibility on the woman as the tease. After I read her blog post, I could only imagine how horrible this was for her.

Scarily, this wasn’t just happening in India, in fact, in just one day, I had heard from over 45 girls who say they’d had experienced this in over 20 countries. I’d even heard from a handful of men who had been flashed at or groped.

I hit the three-day mark of feeling uneasy, I decided I absolutely would not allow this man to make me feel this way. After I had gone through the three reasons why I had felt so frustrated, I felt slightly better. It seems knowledge really is power.
The support from others that had similar experiences helped too (though in a slightly depressing sort of way!). But in short, I think I just made a conscious decision not to allow this man to take who I am as a person.
As I said before, I love smiling at people. Why should I be made to stop now? There are far, far more incredible adventures that have come from smiling than horrible ones like this.

Thursday, 14 May 2015

BIG BITES, BIG HEART!

❝ I had gone to Domino's to buy myself a taco! While I was standing at the counter and placing my order I saw two little hands trying to find their way through the crowd to get their order which had just gotten ready.
I was in a hurry so I quickly placed my order and being told to wait for 15 minutes I started looking for a chair in the jam packed place that Domino's becomes on Sundays. I was unable to find any when I suddenly saw 1 chair empty at a table where these two were happily chatting and having their pizza. I asked them if I could sit there and Tuqlaq (the child on the right) was quick to smilingly say, "haan didi aap beth jaiye". 
I sat there, took out my phone in a bid to pass some time and not even a minute had passed when these two paused eating and pushed that small pizza before me and asked "didi aap bi khaoge?" Sigh! 
It was just overwhelming. I was so deeply touched. I got to know that Tuglaq and Kasim had been saving money since the past few MONTHS to have this tiny pizza which they confessed that they absolutely loved.. I couldn't help but think that in-spite of the fact that they are so hunger stricken, they don't know me, have just this 1 small pizza to share amongst BOTH of them for which they have been saving since such a long time, these kids had a heart to share it with me. They might not have a big pocket like many of us but they had a really big heart.
I told them to keep having their pizza and hold on with their funny stories ,which they were telling me and I just got up, (recollecting that these two, while taking their order, had asked the price of a choco mousse but having counted their money they had realised that they didn't have enough of it and had walked away)
I went to the counter, bought that tasty choco mousse and gave it to them.
The smile on their faces was just inexplicable and their mouths didn't stop even for a second then until that thing got over.
Some beautiful things happen in the most unexpected times with the most unexpected people!❞
- Rishika Gaur
‪#‎MyStory‬


Wednesday, 13 May 2015

Hey readers I wish positivity to you and let me just tell about my day, this day was pretty mundane. I wasn't able to go to my internship today as I had a lot of homework and thankfully I had my friend to do it with. Also the day got better as the evening approached, Mom and Dad took me for a movie and I had to call Ms.x. She is leaving for Scotland early in the morning, tomorrow and I just wanted to say goodbye and Bon Voyage and all that, I told her that we shall FaceTime and text plus I admitted that I would miss her though we have been distant lately, things haven't been going smooth, there has been a lot of negative energy between us and still is but we are trying to get over it. 

I taunt her everyday and make fun of her just like a true best-friend would do, I try to forget the arguments and the bad parts of the relationship but when I called her she told em this instant of the day when she was talking to one of her friends and she told her that she it is good that she is getting a vacation and a time away from friends and a person who only caused her sadness.  I didn't buy this statement, she claimed her friend said this, but this friend of hers is very sensitive and understanding, she has always empathised with me and according to me she would never say such a thing.

 Whatever the fat that thing hurt me so much that I wasn’t able to say anything further and I said goodbye and hung up, like all 4 months of official and unofficial relationship flashed and provide futile, they proved to be torture to her!!
Also I had a talk with one of her girlfriends who told her our story and showed us our chats, like what the hell, she, in the name of “consolation” back-bitched about me and told her friends that I left after al the physical needs and it wasn’t weird that one of her friends thinks I’m a fuck-boy, she is practically bad-mouthing me and I’m devastated!

I cannot write anymore, I get to hear all of this from her which is saddening, My friend said a very quirky but a very true fact. She said that people often release their true colours when they are alone at home and when they are angry!

Tuesday, 12 May 2015

Dreams

Hello guys today was pretty normal, boring class, general common internship and the gym. Nothing at all, but the whole day I kept thinking about one thing, just one thing. It was a dream that I had yesterday and it was one dream that I'll never be able to forget, it was quite frankly the most beautiful dream I had ever seen!
Okay so I have told you guys earlier that theres this very pretty girl at the internship who is two years elder to me. She has the prettiest smile and she is smart. So pretty+smart= Heavenly.
She represents that equation but we have no feelings and we are just acquaintances.

Nevertheless she appeared in my dream, she was this girl that worked out at the gym with me, it was love at first sight. Then the dream fast forwarded to a time when I was staring at her through a mirror in the gym and I was smiling to no end, my friend who was also working out with me told me to stop but I couldn't..my eyes were stuck on her. My souled craved for her and my body craved for her hugs and I wished if she were mine. Then suddenly the dream showed us talking and laughing and then again fast forwarded when she was moving to another city or something so I was helping her move the luggage in the lift or something and I was sad, but had a smile on my face to cover it up, I was almost in tears because I was leaving and I though that the only chance of being with her was gone!
Then suddenly she came running, to me and hugged me so tightly and kissed me, she told me that she loved me too. I'm not kidding I literally felt the kiss, and in the dream I cried cause for the love that I had craved and for the girl that I had only worshipped, she was there with me in my arms!
It's the best feeling when what you have always wanted to get just comes to you unexpectedly...I felt what true love is. I realised that God had taught me through that dream that love is first called admiration and veneration then devotion and then passion. So love only those you can love unconditionally.
The dream was the sweetest thing I had seen, my intern friend was personified as my love and she was the prettiest.
That kiss with the one you have had a crush on since forever is the most passionate one and its divine and probably that is why I cried in the dream. Ms.x shall probably be my past but who knows what turns life can take!

Monday, 11 May 2015

Hello readers, yesterday was a Monday and it felt like it, I had two classes and my internship to go to. There was test in my Math class and it was pretty good. Then I went to my internship, as you guys might be knowing that its miles away and it takes almost an hour of travelling, which unfortunately I have to alone. Thankfully I left the internship early because there was not much for us to do and the wifi wasn't working!!!
One more reason that I wanted to come home was because ms.x was coming at my place, not to meet me but my family that is my brother and Mom before she left for Scotland. I told my mother about our relationship and she was giving her a pep talk on me and relationships at this age as I travelled back home.
We talked normally the whole time but still remembered the old times, I mocked her taunted her and I was also rude because it was a lot to take in but then we decided that the only thing that we want to keep from the relationship is the talking and the care.
Then I went to the gym and I dropped her at the station, concluding our meet with an awkward hug!
Also she had told me earlier that she wasn't going to come apparently to surprise but funnily my heart was in suspense and just somehow wished and knew that she was gonna be home when I'd arrive.

Funny stuff right. Now, today morning I had a weird dream, In the dream I have this die-hard crush on this girl who works at my internship, she is pretty and smart but in the dream she comes to the gym with me and we stare and exchange glances. In the dream, we smile and talk and imply that we want each other in pour lives. The dream is very fresh this time and thats how I remember it, then suddenly the frame jumps to when I am getting in the elevator and she comes running to me and we kiss for hours, we smile and hug and decide we shall stay together, it was so damn funny and then I cry cause I got her and I wanted her the most!
Some dreams are precious and for hose who get find their lives in others and get the partners that they worship, their lives are heavens and moments, blessings!

Saturday, 9 May 2015

Another day, another story..I'm tired of this can't there just be a normal day. Today ms.x had called me at her place, probably not as a friend, she had called memoir lunch and her whole point was that before she went to Scotland, she wanted to see me and for that she had argued with her professor to change her tuition timings. So I did go and I told her that I had to be back at three. We had lunch, had fun I met her sweet family. We ate ice-cream together, its fun being with her. I have to admit that we did get physical cause all the past memories came back and I who has a week sense of rationality, gave into carnal action. I, now feel very guilty of doing that, though it was both ways.

After the whole act, we were normal but I told her that I'd be leaving in some time and she snapped at that as usual. She said that my priorities were fucked and I never cared for her and I sacrificed nothing. She wanted me to be there until her class started so that I could drop her. She was forcing me. I have told her so many times, that if you count your life by hours, you won't find moments to live! Unfortunately we weren't full aware of falling out of love. My conscience knew it all along, that from the day she had called me a loser, idiot, cause of her tension, and a pussy!! I probably fell out of love that time, but I highly respect and love the care that comes off of her and her family!

I felt I was being controlled, I also feel bad because in a way she just wanted me to be there and I couldn't, like its rude for someone to say no to the one who wants you to say so bad, but I told her that I had to discuss my friend's problem and I was to meet her after weeks. This is the friend that is very close and goes to school with me and is in my friend circle! So basically I was managing. But she wanted to be the top priority.

She CRIED, I felt like A MONSTER TO HER, she told me her cousins have told her many times that  she shouldn't waste her energy on  a "guy" and they shall have probably punched me! I left cause I was hurt. I also am very bad with emotions, I am a heartless kid sometimes, cause I have been troubled by shallow people in the past that has hardened me, she was crying and I just couldn't take it. I can't deal with emotions. I left in the rickshaw. She was awkward, there was a "one last pic" and all that unnecessary ways of making me feel what I was doing. Most relationships end that way, the guy is termed as a her and the case is shut! My ring was given to me back, I had to carry it home.

I WAS DAMAGED.

I came home and had a talk with friends, the made a laugh out of it, little happiness, they said to give it time and probably I shall get over it. I was coaxed into forgetting her by candy but then my fears haunt me. At the party, I though of her! Will I ever be able to get rid of her, will my mind ever learn to do that?!
Then I got a prank call from this chick, whose voice was sweet, she turned out to be one of her friends from my grade and she called me a "chutiya"(fucker) and basically insulted me by saying that she was a girl who needed help and cause her boyfriend broke up with her and then I hung up and then, I got a call from ms.x saying that it was one of her friends, You guys probably might have guessed that she was bitching about me and all that..which is fine, but then all the pain was back!!

I, presently am trying to get over it!!!

The reason I blog almost everyday cause I need a person to talk and when i don't get one I usually rite about it, plus i hope you guys can relate to it and comment. Like from this relationship what i have learnt of myself is that most guys and me of course require space, and they most positively don't like to be controlled. I decided that I had to maintain distance with her because I became someone that I am not, a mean person who leaves people when they are at their thinnest! I probably am highly faulted but I have to be with people who bring out the best in me, I care for her a lot and if I don't want to see her cry the best was is to stay far!







Thursday, 7 May 2015

Hey everyone..how are your lives??. Although I most positively know that you guys have no interest listening to mine but since this is my blog you  gotta....Just kidding!

Today not much happened in the in the afternoon..but as you guys know I'm doing an internship this summer at a magazine..it gets pretty interesting travelling there and all! Like lets just talk about the weather of Mumbai for instance. I mean its abysmal, it feels like God is saying fuck you a million times. Its like 35 degrees and feels like 5 degrees more..plus the trains which are crammed as fuck..yuck!!

Anyway, so when I took a cab from the railway station to the office, that douche bag didn't know where exactly I wanted to go and he dropped me miles away and told me that I just had to walk a little and voila I'd reach my destination...obviously he was lying..I had to rake another cab!!

I mean the place is called Air condition market...??!! as in AC market..weird!
So after editing my articles..and writing a book review and a questionnaire..I left early from the office.
During the day I received the shocking news that Ms.x passed out while brushing her teeth in the morning and was rushed to the doctor's clinic..it scared me to death and apparently she has hypotension plus signs of malaria which freak me out..I really don't want her to fall sick!
Also I told my mom that we were dating..which was very hard but I just let it go..and she said that may be it didn't work out because it wasn't the right time to do it! She made sense..but ms.x and i still like being with each other and pamper, flirt and irritate ourselves.

Today I also had a long chat with the friend I take long walks with..she was telling me about her friend called Raj (name changed). Raj and m this friend of mine are pretty close, they are the best of friends easily confused to be lovers and they do have a soft corner for each other, I think my friend does but this guy is so fun to be with and both of them don't want to date. They are more like siblings.
So this guy's problem is that although he care about her and all and loves having fun with her, but is stupid when it comes to time management and doesn't love his phone. He leaves it at home, doesn't respond to miss calls and messages and acts like an asshole. So we guys were planning a sleepover and this guy bailed out. So we postponed the plan and this guy didn't even bother to check the dates, my friend completely lost it and started comparing him to her enemies and said that she did then care and didn't wanna be friends and all that! This guy needs to respect and try to understand what other people feel and stop taking calls lightly!
Anyway, I'm bored and Ms.x is sick but she gets happy when I flirt with her on the phone plus my mom like her so she is happy for that too.


Wednesday, 6 May 2015

Hey guys..I'm so worked up and so busy because of the homework and internship..but someway or the other I remove time to post on the blog. These couple of days have been very fascinating, not because something special is happening but, because something new is happening. I travel in the train alone to a place that is so new, I work with new people and interact sometimes, which is so exciting!
To be honest, I get to see a whole new side of Bombay. The real and the blunt side of Bombay.
People that are crammed like sardines, with a few that are blind asking for help, some that are disabled with no hands or toes, managing their way in the crowded compartments of the train. The locals stop for hardly a minute at each station and people get on and off in a flash and the train goes ahead! Many people share the same journey but each with a different destination! Many get off and climb on but the train has to go ahead. I am an insignificant fragment in this journey. Looking at people with so diverse looks and emotions on their face, I often ruminate about what drives them what makes them get on the train and why are they there. We see people texting their loved one, arguing with some, we some come couples getting romantic and some fighting. Life in the trains is Life.

So yeah, youth inc is going great. I have finally written two complete articles and they are being reviewed. Sadly I don't get to make a good amount of conversation with my fellow co-workers but I hope as time goes on I shall get comfortable and shell out!
So thats that..ms.x and I are probably back to normal, I still crave for her love and she still loves me but I'm not keen on dating her cause I'm still not sure if she is kind or just a bitch. I fell in love with her kindness and her caring. The concern that she shows makes me forget everything, but there is a limit. Ms.x is unwell with 102 degrees of temperature and she needs pampering and I can't give her much as I have been so busy, but I do my best...one has to do their best!
Edu
Dear Shri Narendra Modi,
For a country of 1.3 billion people, the biggest resource is human resource. You have yourself acknowledged our human resource potential in Japan. However, successive governments have lacked the will, intent and vision as regards to the most important ministry that can decide the future of India – the human resource development ministry. Barring empty slogans, there is zero initiative on how we can make India’s youth more productive. We are looking at our demographic dividend turning into a demographic nightmare if we don’t change our attitude towards the HRD ministry and education.
The tragedy lies in how everything to do with education has been split and each ministry has taken a piece for itself to control, govern, eat, fleece and reap. The objective has never been to contribute and add value to the country. Multiple ministries have created their own territories and turfs from where they govern to destroy the objective and purpose of education. Here are a few examples just to illustrate a few of the many anomalies.
Multiple regulators
Education is controlled by the HRD ministry, but
  •  Medical education is regulated by Medical Council of India (health ministry).
  • Pharmacy education (similar to medical education) is regulated by Pharmacy Council of India (health ministry).
  • Legal education is regulated by Bar Council of India (law ministry).
  • The various ITIs are under the ministry of labour and employment.
  • National Skill Development Council is under the newly formed skill development ministry.
  • Various states have also enacted acts giving birth to many state universities and state private universities.  Just between Karnataka and Rajasthan, 46 universities were approved in the last 10 years.
  • Many ministries (science & technology, food processing etc) have floated their own universities and control them.And then you have the HRD ministry, which has multiple regulators, fighting a bitter turf war for control but never taking responsibility to act with alacrity when students suffer.
    Corruption and red tape
    As you know, universities are established under an act of Parliament, state or provincial legislatures and, according to The University Grants Commission Act, 1956, all the institutions are allowed to offer a degree only when approved by the UGC. But a university even if approved by UGC cannot offer a professional course unless approved by one of the regulators above (technical education is exempt from such approval due a court judgment).
    These innumerable regulators and multiplicity of control have created corruption and red tape of alarming proportions. Entrepreneurs are held to ransom at every stage. Many approvals are granted for just a year to ensure control (and collection). It is ridiculous because a student joins a college for three to four years while the approvals are for each year. All this while our curriculum and pedagogy has remained where it was for many decades. Our education is neither modern nor is it receptive to the current day needs.  For example, the Bar Council of India last revised its curriculum many years back, despite change in modem day needs of litigants and our Justice system is the biggest casualty. So is healthcare and many other domains that suffer because we produce untrained students, whose ethics are put to test while they were students as many of them have to rely on recommendations, donations and loans. The scenario is similar in most other professional councils.
    Great expectations
    Sir, I write this letter with a lot of hope. You have the mandate, influence, power and the will to change all this and leave a lasting imprint on education and to ensure that the youth of this country are not left at the mercy of multiple regulators. Sir, when army, airforce and navy can report to one defence ministry, I fail to understand why multiple ministries are controlling education. It has now become a territorial war and conflict for turf.  And education is one of the most litigated domains in the country. To give you an example, the Deemed University case has been going in the Supreme Court for the last eight years with little to show for the effort.  This is also leading to the best-intentioned entrepreneurs selling out and those who can “manage” this conflict to enter education. The cost of education is increasing dramatically because of corruption and red tape.
    Sir, please bring the entire education system under the umbrella of one ministry. Appoint a person who understands the complications and complexities of our education system to head the ministry. Unfortunately, the current incumbent is least qualified, though well-intentioned. Let health, law, technical education, agriculture and vocational education etc. be departments within the HRD ministry. Let professional councils set the standards and test the students at the graduating stage, the way it is done globally.
    Sir, it is an opportunity to radically transform education and impact youth. It is an opportunity to impact our future. It is time we show the right direction to our youth, the future of this country. Let us make good citizens through this ‘Make in India’ opportunity.  It is there for the asking. Either you seize it or fail us. The choice is yours.
    Warm regards
    Maheshwer Peri
    Maheshwer Peri is the publisher of  the education magazine Careers 360